What does
your current social situation look like? Are you surrounded by people who bring
the best out of you?
Or are you held back by individuals who just drag you
down? Do you have an abundance of connections? Or do you constantly feel alone?
Regardless
of your current social situation, it’s safe to say that one of the most
important aspects of your life, is your relationships. Aside from perhaps your
spiritual beliefs, your relationships have the greatest impact on who
you are as a person.
Unfortunately,
one area many people struggle with is their social life, and for much of my
life I struggled to. Fortunately , I soon realized that we are in complete
control of our social situation. I’d like to share with you some ways to
drastically improve your social life.
Stop
Fearing Rejection:
One of the
main reasons people struggle to have the social life that they desire isÂ
because the fear of rejection is constantly on their mind.
“What if
they don’t like me?”
“What if
I’m not good enough?”
“What if I’m
different from everyone else?”
“What if
they make fun of me?”
Have you
ever had any of these thoughts? If so you’re not alone. But here’s the thing,
everyone is insecure. Yes, some are more insecure than other’s but everyone has
their faults. Don’t waste a second of your time thinking you’re not good
enough. Drop those beliefs immediately.
When you
focus your attention on what you lack, you can’t see what you currently have.
Realize that no one is perfect. No one has everything figured out. That’s what
makes you, well you. Remember not everyone is going to like you accept that.
Embrace your differences and rise above the fear of rejection.
As soon as
you make the decision to stop fearing rejection, your social life will
dramatically improve.
Focus on
Quality Not Quantity:
Which would
you rather have: a ton of half-hearted-connections, or a small group of really
good friends? I don’t know about you, but I’d gladly choose the later.
Unfortunately,
many equate having a ton of friends to having an amazing social life, which
isn't always true. While it’s certainly possible to have a large group of
friends who you share a wonderful connection with, true intimacy generally
occurs in small numbers.
I know
plenty of people who have a ton of ‘friends’ but at the end of the day they
remain all alone. Don’t fall into that trap. I’m not suggesting you
can’t or shouldn’t have a bunch of friends, but rather you should focus
on the quality of your relationships instead of the amount of people you
can call ‘friends.’
As you
develop more and more deep connections your social life will slowly begin to
expand to the place where you want it to be.
Care:
While this
tip may come off as common sense, so many people forget to do this. Instead of
making their relationships a mutual source of happiness, it quickly becomes all
about them.
It’s
important to make a conscious effort to be as understanding and compassionate
as possible. Genuinely care about the connection you’re creating.
When
someone needs a friend, be there to listen. When someone needs advice, be there
to give it to them. When you truly care about someone you’ll often find that
that person will soon begin to care about you.
The sole
purpose of relationships is to care.
Don’t
Complain:
Do you enjoy
listening to people complain? I know I don’t. When you complain you do nothing
but attract more negative thoughts. Instead of focusing on what’s wrong, choose
to focus on whats right. People like hanging around people that make them feel
better about life, not worse.
Although
complaining may seem like a good outlet of frustration, it radiates a
considerably bad vibe to all those who notice. While a complaint every now and
then isn’t the end of the world, don’t fall into the habit of becoming a
chronic complainer.
There was
once a period of my life that I would do nothing but complain. During that time
I also found that very few people wanted to hang out with me. Coincidence? I
think not.
Network:
One of the
amazing things about being alive today is that we literally have the ability to
connect with millions of people all around the world. 50 years ago that wasn’t
possible.
Thanks to
the likes of Facebook and Twitter we can connect with virtually anyone we want
to. We can establish relationships with people who share our interests and
goals, as well as explore other types of belief systems and ideas.
Reach out
to people. Share your story. Connect.
Over the
past year I’ve literally made hundreds of new friends because of how easy it is
to network online. If you’re not actively using social media to mold a social
life with an abundance of wonderful connections, you’re missing out.
Take
Responsibility For Your Social Life:
Take a look
at your current social situation. Realize that you are responsible for each and
every relationship you currently have in your life. Only when you take full
responsibility for your relationships can you then begin to craft the social
circle you desire.
Taking full
responsibility isn’t always effortless. Sometimes it’s easier to blame other
people for your relationship shortcomings. However when you do that you lose
your ability to craft the relationships you wish to have. If you want more
meaningful connections in your life it’s up to you make them. If you want more
friends in your life it’s up to you to find them. Sitting back and doing
nothing will get you nowhere.
As human
beings we are incredibly social creatures and relationships play a large role
in how we live our life. Are you happy with who you surround yourself with?
Or could you use some work in this area?
Believe
You’re Worthy:
Perhaps the
greatest thing you can do to drastically improve your social life is this:
Believe you’re worthy.
Don’t walk
around with your head down low thinking you have nothing to offer. Know deep
down that you have something meaningful to share with this world. If you don’t
know what that is just quite yet, continue to search.
No matter
where you are currently, know that you have the ability to change your social
life. It doesn't matter if you’re shy, or you’re just trying to make a few more
friends, you are deserving of the relationships you want.
You have
nothing to prove to anyone, you’re perfect the way you are, faults and all. An
abundance of wonderful relationships await.
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