"Deliver yourself like a gazelle from the hunter's hand. And like a bird from the hand of the fowler." ~ Proverbs 6:5, NASB
... As I was saying, madness, like ice cream, comes in flavors. Believing everything your senses tell you is one. The first time a pretty tweenie girl said,
"Mr. Ogbo … Mwaaaaah!" to me, I thought she was insulting me - much like "uwarka!" ("Uwarka," unlike its equivalent middle finger of the American, is usually delivered, for full effect, with the palm and all five fingers shoving a gush of wind to your face.")
Later on, I discovered that the girl's "mwaaaah!" was actually a pleasurable gesture, with which I no longer have any quarrel. These days, I graciously accept every "Mhaaaaah" sprayed on me. Not from men, though.
And that was how soon as I stepped out from a live TV show sometime last year, an excited female fan sent me the following message:
"Thank you sir for that message (sic).Your message is very good … it was specially meant for me!"
If my wife had trusted her senses more than she trusted me, I would have gone to bed hungry that night. The girl obviously meant "message." But her text said I gave her a "massage" - a very good one!
... Again, believing everything you read in the newspapers, or everything you hear on TV, like airplanes circling a poorly constructed building four times (instead of seven times, like Jericho) leading to its collapse, will also lead to confirmed madness. Time after time of being in the backstage of a live TV, I marveled that what the public is shown on the screen is nothing compared to what's happening behind the scene.What you don't see on the screen is more important than the pinch that's spinned (spun) to you. What you see on TV is "true" but what you don't see is also true ... but you see only 5%.
... Let me tell you one powerful truth that will save your life, if you dare to understand: Don't swallow everything you read in the newspapers or watch on TV! There's always a spin - and therein lies the problem; you're not in control of the spin! The newspapers would be leaving their ovens early this morning, freshly baked for your home, your office and your mind. Who baked this breakfast? Did he wash his hands? Did he add the forbidden bromate? Did he use powdered "lafu?" You never know!
... There's another insanity metric I want to point out and I'm done. When Toyosi, my friend's brilliant daughter, was barely 9, her Mum prayed the familiar Deuteronomy 28:13 for her - that she would be head and not tail. After the Amen, Toyosi had a concerned look on her face. She said to her mother, "Mum, all mums are praying the same thing for their children; whose children would then be tail?"
Let me tell you whose children would be tail - those who spend 7 days attending church programs but have no definite plan for their future. One of the saddest psychological profiling of the Negro was done by the Colonist, Sir Fredrick Lugard, in Chapter Four of his book, "The Dual Mandate," which I'm currently reading. Sad, because it is true.
... Lugard said a lot but this one made me break into tears for this generation: “In character and temperament the typical African of this race-type is a happy, thriftless, excitable person, lacking in self-control, discipline, and foresight … Perhaps the two traits which have impressed me as those most characteristic of the African native are his lack of apprehension and inability to visualize the future."
That was written in 1922, four years after he retired from Nigeria. Haven't you noticed how the ambition of most Nigerian youth is to release his hip-hop album, partake in a reality show, play football in Europe? Have you observed how their pre-occupation is girlfriend/boyfriend? Well, hate him or love him, Sir Lugard was right on that.We live for entertainment.
To the credit of his objectivity in assessment, Lugard said he did meet a few Africans who didn't fit this stereotype, but the majority do. If you cannot visualize your future, if you lack foresight and self control, if you don't take action toward a definite purpose in life, no amount of anointing oil poured on your head will save you from misery and poverty.
The other grievous psychograph of the typical African has been encapsulated in the unfortunate aphorism: "if you want to hide anything from a black man, put it in between the pages of a book!" How true, and how sad! You'll continue to be tail until you open the books to appropriate what is rightfully yours for the asking, seeking and knocking.
= How to measure your Insanity Using Einstein's Insanitometer =
Everyone is familiar with Einstein's definition of insanity - doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Here are a few ways to absolutely confirm your madness or the extent thereof:
º You think that you can outsmart the consequences of your low standard of morality. Don't be too sure. The Yorubas have a powerful saying - that twenty-year old pounded yam can still burn your fingers.
º Trying to fund a lifestyle above your income. If you have a N50,000 cell phone on a salary of N40,000 a month, take it from me, you're mad!
º You desire a romantic marriage but deny each other sex, you're definitely crazy! The officiating priest had asked, "Will you do?" and before everyone, you pledged, "I will do." Hmmm, you'd better do.
º You're 47, male. Even though you're not a eunuch for the Kingdom, you're still unmarried … because, as you say, "Nigerian girls of nowadays are too materialistic;" why didn't you marry when they were too "spiritualistic?"
º You're mad if you rely on "jazz" for getting on in life.
º You are broke but you spend 8 hours a day on Naija gossip sites and blog? A popular blogger recently announced that she bought a N24 million SUV from blogging. Where's yours?
º You know all the football stars in the European League by name and how much they earn but you're still going to beg for lunch this afternoon!
º You swallow everything your "Man of God" says with cross-checking the Scripture? You're mad!
º You want a job in Shell but have no marketable skills … Barawo!
º You're sitting at home idling and waiting for the Holy Ghost to bring you money to arrive from the high sea … Onye ori!
º You are a free lunch addict. You're waiting to reap where you haven't sown. You expect something for nothing? … Ole!
I could go on but I'll stop here. I have a simple strategy for dealing with my madness. I look in The Mirror - the Mirror of God's Word. And I am changed. Are you also mad? Don't be discouraged. Look in "The Mirror" and live!
I love you. Don't be mad! Be healthy, wealthy and wise!
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